awaiting the sunrise photoI’m on another quest to shed some pounds. Those pesky unwanted rolls just keep coming back. I mean, it’s not like I invited them when I said, “yes” to pies, cookies, heavy cream, and butter…

I’m tired of this battle. I’m sick of saying, “yes” to Spanx and “no” to breathing. I’m entirely too focused on my muffin top. Mmm muffins…

But seriously, I’ve been fighting the feeling of inadequacy. It’s not just my body that bothers me. I have a large territory to battle and the troops are closing in on me.

The other night I spoke to a group of women on the topic of being transparent enough to let people see who we are and how Christ is working in our lives. Social media allows us to edit and airbrush who we are, not only in image but also in personality. Women tend to compete against false images on their Facebook walls. It’s exhausting.

You see, I am not interested in painting an image of someone I am not. I need to be me.

There is enough pressure in this life to accept who we are let alone work to be who we aren’t. (Tweet that)

Don’t get me wrong, where my heart is concerned, I must allow Christ to blot out my sin and mold me like clay into the woman He designed. However, He also wants to use me, right now, exactly the way I am. I have a tendency to shake off these opportunities or walk timidly inside them. I often feel as if I’m uneducated and untrained to do what He has called me to do. I don’t even want to put up a Vlog because I think my cheeks are in a chubby season…

“God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.”

– Unknown

Throughout my entire adult life,  God has called me to minister in areas where I’ve often felt unqualified. And in those places He has used my gifts and abilities tremendously. Yet, most of the time, I hide in fear feeling as if I’m a phony. These feelings aren’t of God, friends. He has opened doors and held my hand while walking paths he paved specifically for me. I need to be bold.

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus.

-Acts 4:13

I recommend going back to Acts Chapter 3 and reading this story in its entirety to understand the complete context of this verse. To make a long story short, Peter and John performed a miracle in the name of Jesus and were arrested for it. They defended their actions with boldness before the rulers, elders, and scribes, as well as others. These people marveled at their boldness. They knew they weren’t trained rabbis and yet they spoke with complete conviction and passion while defending truth. Peter and John were not sorry for doing what Jesus called them to do.

I’m sick of apologizing for following where Christ leads. I’m tired of worrying about what others think. All I want to care about is what Christ thinks. And do you know what is on His mind?

  • Love
  • Joy
  • Peace
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Goodness
  • Faithfulness
  • Gentleness
  • Self-Control
  • Grace, Grace, and more GRACE
  • Truth that screams freedom
  • And a beauty that lasts because we are created in His image.

When I apologize for the gifts He has given me then I’m in sin. I do NOT want to be ungrateful to my God who covers every step I take in grace. I’m going to use the gifts He gave me with boldness. After all, I’ve been with Jesus too! I’m with Him as I study the scriptures, and I’m with Him every time I pray. When I cry out His name with trembling lips, He is there. Jesus never fails to be with me regardless of whatever mistakes I make.

Listen, I won’t conquer these feelings of inadequacy overnight, but I will conquer them long term. I will continue to make mistakes. However, I will repent and learn from them.

I will most definitely eat too much butter and live with eater’s remorse. I’m not going to throw out my scale because if I do, I won’t have any accountability and before you know it, I’ll be living on heavy cream in my coffee and pasta with pounds of butter melted over it. Yum!

This is who I am, and I’m shouting it from the rooftops!

I’m not perfect, but I’m working to be who Christ wants me to be. I will use my gifts and work very hard to be confident in His call on my life. I want Him to work through my life. It’s important to me.

I’m going to slim down because it keeps my cholesterol levels lower, and I struggle with those numbers. I have children and future grandchildren to live for. What good was the agony of childbirth if I can’t be the one to drive them all nuts with my obsessive behaviors? C’mon, mamas and grandmamas shout, “AMEN” with me!

We all need to strive for who Christ wants us to be and not what others expect. If we truly follow His will for our lives then we will be okay. In fact, we will be much better than okay!

So, what about you? Are you working to overcome areas where you feel inadequate?





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